Monday, 24 June 2019 14:50

CASE STUDY:

Dimakatso* (not her real name) is a 29 year old executive in a Top 100 company. No one would guess that under all those prefect Instagram and other social media pictures, she is a very unhappy and depressed young woman. She has been avoiding seeking any form of help, as she saw it as weak and she also felt it was her fault and that she wasn’t good enough. When she was brought into the Emergency room with a fractured jaw, and other serious injuries the ER doctor suggested that she either lay a charge against her live in partner, or move out of their shared home. Next time she might not come out of his rage and violence alive.

There are many Dimakatso’s living amongst us, maybe you are in a similar situation. Ask yourself:


IS MY RELATIONSHIP ABUSIVE?

Physical Abuse

  • Pushed or shoved you
  • Held you to keep you from leaving, or locked you out of the house
  • Slapped, kicked or choked you
  • Hit or punched you
  • Thrown objects at you
  • Abandoned you in dangerous places
  • Refused to help when you were sick, injured or pregnant
  • Subjected you to reckless driving or kept you from driving
  • Threatened or hurt you with a weapon

Sexual Abuse

  • Made demeaning remarks about women
  • Treated women as sex objects
  • Been jealously angry
  • Insisted you dress in a more sexual way than you wanted
  • Minimised the importance of your feelings about sex
  • Criticised you sexually
  • Insisted on unwanted touching
  • Withheld sex and affection
  • Called you names like “whore” or “frigid”
  • Forced you to strip when you didn’t want to
  • Publicly shown interest in other women
  • Had affairs with other women after agreeing to monogamy
  • Forced sex
  • Forced particular unwanted sex acts
  • Forced sex after beating
  • Committed sadistic sexual acts

Emotional Abuse

  • Ignored your feelings
  • Ridiculed or insulted women as a group
  • Insulted your valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class
  • Withheld approval or affection as a punishment
  • Criticised you, called you names, shouted at you
  • Insulted your family or friends
  • Humiliated you
  • Refused to socialise with you
  • Kept you from working, controlled your money, made all the decisions
  • Refused to work or share money
  • Taken car keys or money away
  • Regularly threatened to leave or told you to leave
  • Threatened to hurt you or your family
  • Punished the children when he (or she) was angry at you
  • Threatened to kidnap the children if you left him
  • Abused pets to hurt you
  • Manipulated you with lies and contradictions

WHERE CAN I GET HELP?

Referral to a therapist – Call SADAG – 0800 456 789 - sadag.org

If you are experiencing Gender-Based Violence or Domestic Abuse, dial *134*7355#, accessible 24/7 and in all 9 provinces! www.tears.co.za